Grocery Shopping...Our Weekly Adventure

There cannot be another household task that I dread more than grocery shopping. I hate it, every part of it. Trying to figure out our "menu" for the week and which meals I want to make, the actual trip to the grocery store, lugging everything into the house and putting it away in it's proper place. The way I figure it I have three choices. I can go to the grocery store alone, I can go with just the kids, or we can all go together as a family. I've done them all, and in my opinion none of these are good options. I don't know how many times I've heard women say that going to the grocery store alone feels like a vacation. Fuck that. That's ridiculous. Why would the words "grocery shopping" and "vacation" ever even be uttered together in the same sentence? No....just no. In my sick and twisted reality I would rather go with my kids, because it gives me some sort of distraction from the monotonous and mundane task of the grocery shopping itself.

Last night was one of those nights we decided to make it a family outing. And we didn't just settle for the grocery store alone. Our first stop was Party City, our local party store, to put in a balloon order for an upcoming birthday party. Next on the list, Once Upon A Child, a second hand store that sells gently used kid stuff, clothes, toys, just about anything you can think of. I got an email recently saying that they had just put out their stock of Halloween costumes, so I figured we better go before they get picked over. Yes, we bought our Halloween costumes in August. I am a planner people. I've already mentioned that. There was a bite to eat mingled in there somewhere, and last stop was the grocery store. Who can tell me the common denominator problem with all three of these locations? SENSORY OVERLOAD....Hello! Bad idea, really bad idea.

Now, I'm sure every mom can relate, there are some times after bringing your kids grocery shopping you feel like you could conquer the world. There were no meltdowns, no begging, hardly any whining, you even managed to get a compliment from a sweet old lady at the cash register on how well behaved your kids are. Last night was not one of those times. Not by a long shot. The begging started before we'd even made it into the store. They wanted to wear their new Halloween costumes. And why not? We are already facing the mind-numbingly boring job of grocery shopping. Lets make life a little more interesting.

 

 

I'm not sure how we all made it out of the grocery store relatively unharmed last night, but we did it, and that's what counts. I may choose to go by myself the next couple of weeks though. Maybe I'll just get drunk first, that might be fun. 

100% Chance Of...

One of my particularly "OCD-like" tendencies is that I am constantly checking the weather...all day long. Part of the problem may be that I am using weather.com as my source, which I've been informed by numerous people, sucks. Despite their advice, I am always going back for more. Kind of like that really bad boyfriend in high school that your friends keep telling you to stay away from, but it seems you're always getting back together one more time.

Anyhow, pretty much the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is check the weather. Or if we're being completely honest, the very first thing I do is grab my smartphone. Isn't that what we all do? Let's take a poll on how many of us reach for our smartphone in the morning before even getting out of bed. I bet the percentage would be startling. Not surprising, but startling.

So I check the weather, and the very first thing I notice is that there is a 100% chance for rain. This makes me smile on the inside because there is something very satisfying to my perpetually organized brain about seeing that 100%. I am a planner. I like these odds. Like, thank you weather man for finally knowing what the hell is going on today. And then I thought, wouldn't that be great if there could be a "life forecaster" sometimes. For example....

There is a 100% chance than your two year old will wake up at 5:45 again tomorrow. Thank you Mr. Life Forecaster, I will go to bed early tonight.

There is a 100% chance that you will want to die during Total Body Conditioning class this morning, and possibly be cursing under your breath at the back of the instructor's head. Thank you Mr. Life Forecaster, maybe I'll skip today's class.

There is a 100% chance that you will meet a really nice mom with two kids your age at the park on the way home. Thank you Mr. Life Forecaster, I'm glad I gave in to the pleas from the backseat, rather than going home like I wanted to.

There is a 100% chance that you will have a special moment with your daughter today if you'd resist the temptation of your smartphone. Thank you Mr. Life Forecaster, I'm so glad I did. And this is what
we did while the littlest little was taking a nap, Brooklyn was done with her quiet time, and I set down my phone...

Is there anything more adorable than a little girl dressing up like her Mommy?

 

Another cute moment from playing dress-up. And this is what they look like when they hear Daddy's work van coming up the driveway. Notice Laney, who has simply decided she is not satisfied with the stool we precariously put on top of the toy chest for her, but would like to stand on the 1/2 inch back rail.

 

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And in case you're wondering, it did rain today, but maybe I should still take this moment to say........

 

 

WEATHER.COM, THIS IS FOR YOU...

 

 

 

Taylor Swift - "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

 



Spreading Wings And Yanking Out Hair

What better day to write my first blog post than the emotionally tumultuous firstborn child's first day of school? Why not? I decided to start this blog as an outlet for myself, to vent at the end of a long day. And also to compartmentalize my sometimes obsessive, and completely random thoughts throughout the day.  This is where the term "mommy brain" comes in. Every mom knows what I'm talking about. This feeling that there is constantly five different voices shouting in your head all at once. "I hope my four-year-old doesn't have to poop at school today because I'm not sure she knows how to wipe her butt properly without me hovering over her." "What kind of breakfast muffins should be next on my baking list?" "Did I put that laundry into the dryer that my husband asked me about?" Crap....seriously?! The list goes on... Of course, the mommy brain peaks on a very emotional day such as this. And without further ado....Brooklyn, my super sweet, sometimes sassy, four year old on her very first day of school.

 

The day started out relatively well, if you consider two children crammed into your seemingly shrinking queen size bed at 5:45 AM an optimal way to wake up. I was feeling pretty good when we left the house this morning. We were on time, everyone was clothed, teeth were brushed, bellies were full, and we hadn't misplaced or forgotten anything. You would have thought we had just been on an 800 mile car ride, rather than the three miles it is to get to school, the way Brooklyn jumped out of the car and bolted towards the school doors. At least someone was excited! (Hint: It wasn't me.) And the inside of my head sounded like this, "Excuse me, young lady! I birthed you only four short years ago. Come and give your mother a hug before you abandon me forever!" Then she was gone, into the world, spreading her wings....until I picked her up six hours later. Meanwhile...

 

Everyone...meet Laney, my two year old child that may or may not be possessed by a demon whenever the urge overtakes her. This is how Laney felt about her big sister going to school without her. I wouldn't say she was particularly pleased. After a 10 minute car ride, she showed no sign of being through with her red faced, eardrum damaging, mother of all tantrums. Does the word tantrum even suit this type of behavior? Do most children pull small clumps of their hair out in an all-consuming horrific rage? But alas, I should know better. Laney is not most children. She does everything with fervor. The way she plays, the way she talks, but the best one by far, the way she loves, which brings about moments like this...

I swear I could almost feel my heart melting. And these are the mommy moments that make it all worth while. That, or seeing the ear-to-ear grin on Brooklyn's face when I picked her up from school, or at bedtime when she told me, "I love you more than chocolate cupcake frosting." Sigh...